019 - Death of Khadija & Abu Talib

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The end of the Boycott occurred in the 10th year of the dawah, around 2½ years before the Hijrah. Barely had they returned to Makkah, Allah willed that 3 great calamities happened back to back. And because of these three calamities, this whole year is called Am al-Huzn (عام الحزن - the Year of Sorrow).

The Death of Abu Talib

The first of these 3 calamities was that barely 5-6 weeks after the Banu Hashim came back to Makkah, Abu Talib fell sick and eventually passed away in the month of Shawwal in the 10th year of the dawah. In Bukhari, it's narrated, "When Abu Talib reached the nearness of death, the Prophet PBUH entered upon him while Abu Jahal was there; and he PBUH said, 'O my uncle, say 'la ilaha illaLlah'—one kalimah that I will be able to present as an argument on your behalf before Allah SWT.'" Meaning, "If you just say this kalimah, I have an excuse; if you don't say it, I don't have an excuse." And Abu Talib was about to say it, but there with him were Abu Jahal and Abdullah ibn Abi Umayya (عبد الله بن أبي أمية); and they said, "O Abu Talib, are you going to leave the religion of Abdul Muttalib?!" And they persistently interjected whenever they sensed Abu Talib's inclination to recite the kalimah. And eventually, Abu Talib died without ever uttering the kalimah. When the Prophet PBUH saw this, he said, "I shall continue to ask Allah to forgive you [O my uncle] until Allah stops me from doing so." Now, pause here for a while. The Prophet's PBUH role is to obey the commandments of Allah; and the general rule is that all of the prophets don't just make up their minds about what they want to do — they have to wait for Allah's commandments; and generally, the prophets followed this; but in this case, despite not receiving a direct command from Allah, the Prophet PBUH, profoundly emotionally attached to his uncle, decided to beseech Allah for the forgiveness of Abu Talib unless Allah explicitly prohibited him from doing so. And eventually, Allah revealed in the Quran, very gently telling him PBUH in Surah al-Tawba (سورة التوبة):

"It is not [proper] for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allah's forgiveness for the mushrikun (polytheists, idolaters, pagans, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah) even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in a state of disbelief)" [see Quran, 9:113].

So the Prophet PBUH desisted from seeking forgiveness for Abu Talib. And Allah SWT also revealed in Surah al-Qasas (سورة القصص):

"Verily, You [O Muhammad PBUH], will not be able to guide those whom you love; rather, Allah guides those whom He wishes. And He knows best those who are the guided" [see Quran, 28:56].

And in another hadith in Sunan Abi Dawud, we find that it was in fact Ali ibn Abi Talib who eventually came to inform the Prophet PBUH about the demise of Abu Talib. This indicates that although the Prophet PBUH had visited Abu Talib during his illness, he was not physically present at the moment of his passing; then Ali came and said to him, "Your uncle has passed away," or in another narration, "Your misguided uncle has passed away." This reflects Ali's inner disappointment, knowing that his own father died upon paganism. The Prophet PBUH told Ali, "Go and bury him." Ali said, "But he died a mushrik." The Prophet PBUH said, "Go and bury him, and come back as soon as you have finished — don't do anything on the way." So Ali went and buried him. Then he came back; and while the dust was still on his body, the Prophet PBUH made a long du'a for him to calm him down and bring him solace and comfort. Ali later said, "I would never give up all of those du'as for this world and all that is in it."

Note: As we mentioned in episode 6, the historical accounts we have of the Makkan seerah are relatively sparse. We only have a few incidents recorded, and it's difficult to determine the exact chronology in which they occurred. The reason for this is that the narrations pertaining to this period often lack contextual details.

Case in point: The famous story where the people visited Abu Talib and begged him to prevent the Prophet PBUH from preaching:

1. One version has it that this happened at the beginning of the dawah.
2. Another version has it this happened on Abu Talib's deathbed. Abu Jahal and others said, "You are about to die; resolve this conflict now, or else this will get into a civil war." And this also makes sense that before he died, they attempted one more time. And the condition they gave was, "As long as he keeps to himself, we will keep to ourselves," i.e., "Just make sure your nephew doesn't interfere in our affairs; and we won't interfere in his." It is reasonable as well to understand this story as taking place now on Abu Talib's deathbed. And according to this narration, in fact then when the Prophet PBUH came, that was when Abu Jahal and others were all standing there and Abu Talib said, "My people have surrounded me. (What do you want me to do now?) Give them this one condition — don't interfere in their affairs (i.e., don't ridicule their idols, just mind your own business)." And the Prophet PBUH said, "O my uncle, I will give them this if they just give me one kalimah (one phrase). And I promise that all of the kingdoms of the Arabs and the Ajam (عجم - non-Arabs) will be theirs." Abu Jahal stood up and said, "We will give you ten kalimahs! What do you want?" The Prophet PBUH said, "The kalimah I want from you is 'la ilaha illaLlah.' Give me this kalimah and you will have the Arab and the Ajam under your control." But of course, Abu Jahal said, "Never!" So then, the Prophet PBUH turned to Abu Talib, and according to this version, this is when he said, "O my uncle, say the kalimah so that I will be able to argue before Allah SWT…" [the story mentioned above].

In Ibn Ishaq, it is said that when the Quraysh left, Abu Talib told the Prophet PBUH, "I would have said the kalimah were it not for the fact that my people will accuse me that now that I am about to die, I accept your religion out of fear." This poignant statement reflects Abu Talib's awareness of his nephew's true prophethood. In one of his poems, he said, "Indeed, Muhammad's religion is the best of all religions, and were it not for the fact that people would criticize me, I would have accepted it."

Many years later, al-Abbas, the younger brother of Abu Talib, asked the Prophet PBUH, "Ya Rasulullah, have you benefited your uncle anything? He used to protect you and be angry on your behalf." The Prophet PBUH said, "Yes, I was able to benefit him. He is on the peripheries of the Fire of Hell. Were it not for me (my intercession), he would have been in the depths of the Fire of Hell." In a hadith in Sahih Muslim, the Prophet PBUH is reported to have said, "The person who is being punished least in the Fire of Hell (out of all of the eternal inhabitants of the Fire of Hell) is Abu Talib." (Indeed, we know that the Muslims who enter Hell [and we seek Allah's refuge from ever being amongst them], their punishment will never be eternal or as bad as those who are the eternal inhabitants.) What is the punishment of Abu Talib? "He shall be made to wear sandals of fire, and because of this, his brain will be boiling." And this is the least severe punishment for those who are eternally damned to Hell. نسأل الله السلامة والعافية.

This is what we know of Abu Talib's death.

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Lessons From the Life and Death of Abu Talib

There are many lessons from his life and death:

1. We have to be careful of simply following what the people are doing. Even if those people are the majority; even if they are our ancestors or parents. Nothing is more sacred than what Allah AWJ says and what the Sunnah of the Prophet PBUH says. Those who follow others won't be excused on the Day of Judgment, even if those others were great people. The Quran tells us these people will say on the DoJ: "We followed our leaders and our elders but they all led us astray" [33:67], "Indeed, we found our fathers upon a religion, and we are in their footsteps, following" [43:23]. And Allah responds in the next verse: "[Each prophet] said, 'Even if I brought you better guidance than that [religion] upon which you found your fathers?'" [42:24]. And just because we are Muslims, it doesn't mean we are completely scot-free. Many times, it is our understandings of Islam that we inherited from our forefathers that might be wrong. 'Our grandfathers' are not an evidence in Islam. The evidence is what Allah and His Messenger say.

2. Another powerful lesson we get is that indeed, Allah is the true Lord who is in control of everything. For the Prophet PBUH, despite being the most beloved to Allah, still he could not guide the one whom he loved the most. Allah says, "You surely cannot guide whoever you like [O Prophet]" [28:56]. If the Prophet PBUH didn't even have this power in his life, how about now when he is dead? There are some groups of Muslims in our time that wrongly believe the Prophet PBUH can dictate who goes to Jannah and who goes to Jahannam as if he were a god. But the seerah teaches us that the status of the prophets cannot ever be compared to the maqam of Allah AWJ. Never allow our emotions to get confused in this regard. This is unfortunately what many Muslim groups do wrong. They begin their praises of the Prophet PBUH in a legitimate manner, but then they allow those praises to go into the level of kufr and shirk.

3. Allah affirmed the Prophet PBUH had a love for Abu Talib. There are some extremist Muslims who say, "We must hate all the kuffar (كفار - disbelievers/infidels)." But this is a complete misunderstanding of certain texts in the Quran and Sunnah. How can anyone say this when Allah Himself said the Prophet PBUH loved Abu Talib? [See Quran, 28:56]. The only animosity we have towards the nonbelievers is because of their rejection of the Message, i.e., we cannot have a religious love for somebody who hates/rejects Allah and His Messenger. Allah says in Surah al-Mujadilah (سورة المجادلة):

"You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers, or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred" [58:22].

Some people say, "Islam preaches hatred of non-Muslims"—but this isn't correct. In a nutshell, the love Allah is talking about in these verses is a religious love and religious hatred. The religious love we have for all Muslims, we can never have it for anybody who opposes Allah and His Messenger, even if they are close relatives. But we may have a natural love for them, e.g., if they are our fathers or mothers. Or another example: in Islam, a Muslim man is allowed to marry a Jewish or Christian lady. And how can a man remain married to a lady that, according to those who misinterpret the Quran, he is required to hate?! It doesn't make sense at all. We say it's Islamically permissible to feel a natural affinity and love for people of your tribe, family, ethnicity, nationality, etc. But it cannot become a religious one except for those who have the same religion.

4. As we mentioned before, Abu Talib had to remain a kafir (كافر - disbeliever) — Indeed, the only thing that allowed him to remain a respected figure among the Quraysh and protect the Prophet PBUH was that he followed the religion of his forefathers. For the Quraysh, he truly was a representative of Abdul Muttalib. Had he converted to Islam, his people would have seen it as a betrayal and likely sought to remove him from his esteemed position. His kufr indirectly protected the Prophet PBUH and allowed him to spread Iman. Yet, at the same time, if somebody were to say, "Okay, I understand this wisdom. But why couldn't he have converted on his deathbed?" Our response is: In the end, we will never understand ilm al-ghayb (علم الغيب - knowledge of the unseen). "Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not" [Quran, 2:216]. What is the wisdom? Why couldn't he have converted on his deathbed? What can we say? العلم عند الله (The Knowledge is with Allah). A part of having Iman is to believe in the unseen [see Quran, 2:3]. And a part of having Iman is, as Allah says: They have no right to question Allah about what He does; rather, Allah will question them about what they do [see Quran, 21:23]. We have no right to challenge Allah's wisdom. Challenging Allah's wisdom is literally satanic — this is what shaytan did. E.g., "Allah asked, 'What prevented you from prostrating [to Adam] when I commanded you [O Iblis]?' He (Iblis) replied, 'I am better than he (Adam) is; You created me from fire and him from clay'" [Quran, 7:12]. So we accept the decree of Allah even if we don't understand its wisdom.

5. We learn that Iman —belief in Allah— is more than just acknowledging the truth of the Prophet PBUH. In other words, the definition of a Muslim isn't just someone who believes in one God and the Prophet PBUH is a real prophet — because Abu Talib believed this; he fully believed and knew what the Prophet PBUH said was true — but he refused to submit. Therefore, we learn that merely knowing the Truth does not necessarily make one a Muslim. What is a Muslim then? A Muslim is someone who submits to the Truth. Islam is about submission. Even Iblis, in his heart, knows and accepts everything conceptually; he affirms that Allah sends prophets; he calls Allah "my Rabb" [see Quran, 15:36]; and he believes in the Day of Judgment — he asked Allah, "Allow me to live until the Day of Judgment" [see Quran 7:14 & 15:36]; and yet, is Iblis a Mu'min (مؤمن - Believer)? Does Iblis have Iman in Allah? Obviously not! Allah says in the Quran, "He refused and was arrogant, and became of the kafirs" [Quran, 2:34].

Therefore, a kafir can be (1) someone who doesn't know / doesn't recognize the Truth; but also (2) someone who knows the Truth but refuses to act upon it. This gets us to the deep issue. What do we say then to the Muslim who knows Islam to be true but never does anything that Islam requires him to do? What is the difference between, say, Abu Talib, and such a Muslim? They both recognize Allah is One and that the Prophet PBUH is the Messenger of Allah, but both of them refuse to submit to the laws of Islam. Therefore, the fact of the matter is, someone who says he/she is a Muslim but doesn't do anything of this religion —doesn't fast, pray, or give zakat— this theoretical saying that "I am a Muslim" is not much different than the 'iman' of Abu Talib and of Iblis. As for the ahadith that say, "Whoever says the kalimah shall enter Jannah," we need to understand them in light of the other ahadith as well: "Whoever says the kalimah sincerely," "Whoever says the kalimah from the heart," etc. — there are conditions attached.

One final point with regards to this issue: It is not fully accurate to translate "Iman" as "faith." The term "faith" does not fully capture the meaning of "Iman." Iman is not just faith. Abu Talib had faith. Iblis has faith. But they are not considered Mu'min. So Iman and faith are not entirely synonymous. Faith is but one part of Iman. You need to have faith to have Iman; but Iman is more than just faith.

6. The danger of hanging around evil company. Abu Talib's final compatriots were Abu Jahal and his ilk. And he would have accepted Islam but they stopped him.

7. A fiqh benefit: Being a non-Muslim and dying as a non-Muslim doesn't mean the Muslim relatives have nothing to do with the funeral. The Prophet PBUH said to Ali, "Go and bury your father." This shows that when a non-Muslim relative dies, one may attend the funeral, help with the processions, and even financially contribute; but the condition is that you don't do the religious ceremonies — we cannot participate in the religious services. Ali not only went to the funeral, he took charge — he dug the grave, put the kafan, etc. This shows us we may attend the janazah of a non-Muslim relative.

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Uncles and Aunts of the Prophet PBUH Who Converted and Who Didn't

The Prophet PBUH had 10 uncles — they were 11 brothers including the father of the Prophet PBUH. Of those 11 brothers, 7 died before the Prophet PBUH preached the Message. So 7 never heard the Prophet PBUH preaching tawhid. Out of the remaining four —Hamzah RA, Abbas RA, Abu Talib, and Abu Lahab— two converted and two rejected. And coincidentally, the two who rejected had pagan names, and the two who accepted had beautiful, noble names. (Side note: Some people confuse Abu Lahab with Abu Jahal, but note Abu Lahab is from Banu Hashim and Abu Jahal is from Banu Makhzum. Two different people completely.)

Abu Lahab's actual name was Abd al-Uzza (عبد العزى - Servant of al-Uzza). And he was a very handsome man, so they called him "Abu Lahab" as if fire was coming from his cheeks and face. But when he mocked the Message of the Prophet PBUH, Allah then mocked this nickname and called him "Lahab" to literally mean he will burn in the Fire [see Quran, 111:3]. (Side note: Abdul Muttalib had 5 wives and one of them gave birth only to Abu Lahab [see episode 5].)

Abu Talib's name was Abd Manaf (عبد مناف - Servant of Manaf).

As we know, Manaf and al-Uzza were both names of the idols. And the two uncles with these pagan names, ironically, they didn't convert to Islam for reasons only Allah knows.

The two brothers who converted were Hamzah and al-Abbas — both names mean the lion. Hamzah has the connotation of strength; Abbas has the connotation of bravery.

As for the Prophet's PBUH aunts, there were six aunts.

And we only know of one of them that for sure converted to Islam, Safiyyah bint Abdul Muttalib who was the full sister of Hamzah.

Another aunt, Atikah, we know for sure heard of Islam, but we are not sure if she converted — Atikah is the one who sees the dream of the Battle of Badr.

The rest of them, we don't know who amongst them converted, nor do we know if they even lived to see Islam. And truth be told, the fact that we don't know should seem to indicate that they didn't; because had they converted, we would have known about it.

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Was Abu Talib Secretly a Muslim?

We have two groups in Islam that believe Abu Talib was in fact a Muslim:

1. One is the Shias who say the father of the 12 Imams could not have been a kafir; and if we say otherwise, they feel insulted about this. But it's very easy to respond to them: none of the Imams are better than Ibrahim AS, yet Allah says his father made and worshiped idols.

2. The other is the more extreme Sufi groups. Of their arguments is Abu Talib did the nikah of the Prophet PBUH, so he must have been a Muslim, or else the nikah would have been invalid. Our response: The nikah was done in the days of Jahiliyyah — nobody was Muslim at the time.

And there are 3 verses in the Quran, sahih hadiths, incidents in Ibn Ishaq's seerah, etc., that all show Abu Talib did not die upon tawhid. So our position is very clear.

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The Death of Khadija RA

Moving on; the death of Khadija RA followed. She passed away on the 10th of Ramadan, less than 40 days after the death of Abu Talib. And when Khadija RA passed away, the salah had not yet been revealed, so there was no janazah performed over her. But the Prophet PBUH took charge of burying her. He himself put her in the grave. And a number of sahaba report, after her death, "We did not see the Prophet PBUH smile for months on end." And indeed, Abu Talib and Khadija RA were the closest individuals to the Prophet PBUH. Abu Talib was his father figure and he protected him externally; Khadija RA was his wife, closest friend, and first supporter, and she protected him internally and gave him support inside the house. And the death of these two caused the Prophet PBUH immense grief that the whole year was called the Year of Sorrow. And there are so many narrations that show how much the Prophet PBUH loved Khadija RA. E.g., when her sister Hala (هالة) visited the Prophet PBUH later in Madinah, the Prophet PBUH jumped up — and you could see the fluster on his face, as it reminded him of Khadija RA. And Aisha RA, observing this, expressed her jealousy, "O Messenger of Allah, for how long are you going to remember an old... [and Aisha RA used words that are not appropriate to describe Khadija RA]. Allah has given you someone better than her!" The Prophet PBUH responded, "No, by Allah. Allah has not given me someone better than her. She supported me when no one did, she comforted me when the world gave me grief, she spent on me when everyone boycotted me, and Allah gave me children through her when Allah deprived all of my other wives of this blessing." [See also: episode 9.]

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The After-Effects of the Death of Abu Talib

When Abu Talib died, this proved to be a very difficult time politically for the Prophet PBUH. Why? Because Abu Talib was his protection & his 'passport' to living in Makkah. So with the death of Abu Talib, he was in a very precarious situation. Ibn Ishaq says: After the death of Abu Talib, the Quraysh increased the persecution against the Prophet PBUH like never before. Another tabi' (تابع) says: With the death of Abu Talib, the Quraysh were finally able to openly display the hostility they had previously concealed during Abu Talib's lifetime.

As a result, a series of significant events unfolded. Of the most significant is the infamous incident of six/seven elders conspiring to throw a dead carcass on the Prophet PBUH when the Prophet PBUH went into sajdah. And Uqba ibn Abi Mu'ayt himself carried the entrails with his own hands to throw them on the Prophet PBUH. We mentioned this story before, but if we think about it, it makes more sense for this to happen now, i.e., when Abu Talib is not around to protect him PBUH. (It all comes back to the fact that these incidents have no chronology.) And then the Prophet PBUH made du'a to Allah, "I call to you, O Allah. You deal with these..."—and he mentioned each of the 7 by name. And every one of them died in the Battle of Badr [see episodes 36-42].

After the death of Abu Talib, Abu Lahab instantly took charge of the Banu Hashim since he was the seniormost pagan Hashimi alive. And in a surprising turn of events, he displayed an unanticipated 'soft spot' for the Prophet PBUH. When someone from outside the Banu Hashim cursed the Prophet PBUH severely, Abu Lahab went to the Prophet PBUH and said, "O Muhammad, be as you were in the time of Abu Talib (i.e., the privileges you had in the time of Abu Talib, you have them now). For as long as I am alive, you shall live in the same manner." He felt a sense of responsibility as the chief of the Banu Hashim to safeguard the Prophet PBUH. This behavior can be attributed to a common aspect of human psychology — prior to assuming responsibilities, one may make bold claims or boast, but when faced with the actual duties, their actions change. Before attaining power, Abu Lahab had made threats against the Prophet PBUH; but as the chief, he had to adopt a more composed and responsible stance. And there was a prestige element as well, that as a chieftain, he had to guard and protect his own people, including the Prophet PBUH. So it is important to note that this protection was not motivated by love for the Prophet PBUH.

And when the people heard this, they spread a rumor that Abu Lahab had accepted Islam. So they asked him, "Have you become a Sabian?" Of course Abu Lahab said, "No, I am just protecting my flock." And, sensing an opportunity to undermine this protection, Abu Jahal and Utbah devised a plot. They said to Abu Lahab, "Why don't you ask your nephew about the fate of your father Abdul Muttalib?" So Abu Lahab went to the Prophet PBUH and said, "What is the fate of my father Abdul Muttalib?" Aware of the trick-question nature of the inquiry, the Prophet PBUH answered generically, "He is with his people." And this shows the wisdom of the Prophet PBUH — he provided a neutral and non-inflammatory answer that stayed clear of falsehood. He didn't give incendiary remarks, and at the same time, he didn't lie. Satisfied, Abu Lahab went back happy and told Abu Jahal, "He is with his people!" To which Abu Jahal retorted, "You fool! And where are his people according to him?! In the Fire of Hell!" At that moment, Abu Lahab comprehended the implication, grew furious, and withdrew his protection from the Prophet PBUH.

So the Prophet PBUH was left without any protection in Makkah. And this was what caused him to then try his 'luck' / qadr (قدر) in the closest city next to Makkah, and that is Ta'if (طائف).

[Transcribed by Br. Safwan Khan & Faizan]
safwan-khan@hotmail.com
[Re-revised by Br. Syed Haq & MAR, June 2023]